Nothing feels right, right now.
I’ve been laying in this godforsaken bed for the last 6 hours. Just laying, thinking, occasionally dosing off, and on the verge of tears every time I stop to actually grasp what I’m thinking about. Every so often a few or more tears tend to fall. I’ve never felt so nauseated in my life.
It’s strange how I’m letting something voluntarily hurt me. I have no one to blame, I was blessed with a free will and none of this is out of my hands. It’s troublesome though. At times I feel like my free will has been sucked out of me; like something has taken over me that keeps pushing me back down, every time I start to stand on my own.
If I’m not mistaken, I must be holding out for my own heartbreak. How completely selfless of me, but definitely selfish towards my heart. Where is my fucking dignity?
